i did it! my toe has been touched by the hand of medical miracle workers (a canadian lady from montreal who laughed at my jokes and squirmyness and let landon join us in the room). she had to cut off a portion of my toe (the infected weird toe growing on top of toe) and cut the nail out. it was not so bad as i had anticipated! the three needle injections were kind of a bummer but once that was taken care of i was in numb heaven. landon played nurse and rewarded me with all sorts of edible presents. you guys were super and made me feel much more at ease about the whole situation (save for the stories of full toenail removal, geez, i'm sorry pals). so i thank you friends! i even had the pleasure of regaling a certain s. sarandon about the whole ordeal while she drank tea as my roommate's guest at our table. she was a gracious listener though was not nearly as interested in my toe as she was with landon's 16 year old driver's license photo. it was our third meeting and i think i've thoroughly embarrassed myself at all three and while landon has moved into the hugging stage of the relationships i remain at the cool handshake and smile stage. poo! perhaps she caught me checking out the contents of her blouse? i mean really! how can one resist?

we have to move december first (happy birthday to me!) and i'm all antsy about our future abode, shopping for apartments in new york has been a bit of a slap in the face after living with such luck in our dream spot for the last six months. i do look forward to finally unpacking our full spread of goodies and having a proper closet to house my wears (especially after viewing this lady's magical spot). wish us luck as the hunt officially begins tomorrow!

and finally, a note on friends beyond the cut.

( bff )

kicked my ass up and down the sidewalk. i spent the night before cramming all this late-minute knowledge into my head, stuff about Chekhov and Beckett and Faulkner and Hemingway and Cather, and none of it was on the goddamn exam. i think i did really poorly on it, but who knows.

there was also a question about James Brown. question #227 or something. it gave a passage that alluded to James Brown and the question asked, "who was James Brown?" yes, that James Brown.

fuck you, ETS. what a game.



in other news, i have the Glee soundtrack and I LOVE IT.

today i took the GRE's. i got a 670 Verbal and 580 Math, which i was kind of bummed about initially, and then i found out that a 670 is in the 95th percentile, so i'm not bummed anymore. the Verbal section is generally much more difficult than the Math section. the percentile is what grad programs look at, so i'm set and kind of thrilled. especially since i ran out of time at the end and had to answer 10 questions in 5 minutes, resulting in skimming a passage and hastily answering analogy and antonym questions. i might have gotten the 700 i was shooting for if i'd managed my time better. and i know i rocked the essay section.

plus! 580 Math? i haven't taken math in 4 years and i guessed on most of the questions. it's only in the 44th percentile or something but i'm super proud of that random accomplishment that makes me look not as stupid as i might have looked otherwise.

tomorrow is the Lit GRE, which is 230 questions of obscure stuff i don't know. i got a 570 on my practice exam. i'd like to scrape a 600 but it's iffy. the chair of my English department told me to engage in a drinking bout after it's over.


let's be real, though. this is why the GRE is dumb: it's a computer test that doesn't let you skip questions or go back to questions. so if you have a hard question that you don't feel like answering right away, you can't skip it. you have to answer it, a final answer, and that's it. goodbye, question. so stressing over hard questions, trying to figure out an answer, kills your time, which is what happened to me. it's the total opposite of what they teach you to do on the SAT's, which is: skip hard questions, do easy ones first, go back later to the ones you skipped.

in addition, after you answer a question, the GRE changes the following question depending on if you answered correctly or incorrectly. if you answer a question right, your next question is harder. if you get one wrong, your next question is easier. and your general score is pretty much based on the first 4 or 5 questions and doesn't vary much after that. all this does is put pressure on people to make sure their first answers are right. i know i wasted my time on triple-thinking-over my first answers. so even though i screwed up the end of my test by rushing through, i must have done well in the beginning to have earned a 670.

a final reason why the GRE is dumb. all it does is test people to see if they know ridiculous vocabulary that no one uses. i have a lot of respect for the essay section, and i don't mind the critical reading section, since that actually tests something. but most of the analogy/antonym/fill-in-the-blank questions simply see who has memorized more insane vocabulary words. luckily i knew enough of them to eke my way through.

Ceasefire
by Michael Longley

I
Put in mind of his own father and moved to tears
Achilles took him by the hand and pushed the old king
Gently away, but Priam curled up at his feet and
Wept with him until their sadness filled the building.

II
Taking Hector's corpse into his own hands Achilles
Made sure it was washed and, for the old king's sake,
Laid out in uniform, ready for Priam to carry
Wrapped like a present home to Troy at daybreak.

III
When they had eaten together, it pleased them both
To stare at each other's beauty as lovers might,
Achilles built like a god, Priam good-looking still
And full of conversation, who earlier had sighed:

IV
'I get down on my knees and do what must be done
And kiss Achilles' hand, the killer of my son.'

tomorrow i'm getting up early to stand in line at the free clinic for the once a week foot doctor visit. i've been cursing my bad toe for a year now and have yet to have it taken care of but after it started growing what appears to be another toe on top a month ago and landon stomping on it while performing beautiful dance moves last friday i've decided it's time to suck it up and accept the fact that daily soaking and the mythical "bandaid method" is not going to heal me. just as wikipedia predicted i am now walking with a limp (or rather, like a drunk driver swerving back and forth on the streets of new york writhing in pain). we're a little strapped for cash and (naturally) without healthcare so my fingers are crossed that foot doctor will take pity on me and heal me without depleting my bank account (which at this moment wouldn't require much). damn you new country of mine and your naughty health care.

so here is where you share your stories of ingrown toenail extraction and how it was "easy peasy and painless and now i wear all the shoes in my closet and no more limp and no more bloody stocking toe and no more foot soaking (though i rather like them) and no more bandaid wrappers littering my bedroom" i went through a box of twenty TWENTY! bandaids last week. for one tiny digit (well, my largest diget).

( healthy times )